Artwork by Kathryn Norton-Remillard

Written by Gabriel Shapiro

Summer rentals often come equipped with a prominently placed journal wherein guests can leave their thoughts on their lodging experiences. The below entries are from a very small hut-like structure on Cape Cod.

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July 17, 2023

Dear Owners –

Thank you for getting me back in touch with my sharecropper roots.

— B.B. King

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July 21, 2023

Cher Bill & Sandy –

Wonderful Depression Era experience! Kudos to your decorator.

— J-P Sartre

P.S. To heighten the D.E. effect, consider cutting off the running water and electricity.

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July 29, 2023

Had a great time in the installation!

The wit employed via the oarless boat was priceless. Same with the malfunctioning window blinds. Brings me back to the upside-down urinal days, not to mention Marcel’s useless bicycle wheel.

Excellent curation!

— Clement G.

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8/1/23

Hello!

My 9-year-old has been a space nut since forever. Little Roger has always been curious about how the ‘nauts lived in super-small spaces. Thanks to your excellent work within the very limited space of the “cottage” – read: oversized furniture, limited food storage area, extra large toilet bowl – we were all able to get a big taste of the deprivations endured by our space heroes.

While we did not have to resort to eating through tubes nor peeing in bags, we still got a full dose: banging our heads multiple times per day, knocking knees into the bathroom door while making a deposit, sleeping partly on our luggage, etc.

And the high expense of our constrained quarters really brought home NASA’s cost$$$ to achieve one of man’s giant leaps.

God BLESS You,

Randi, Jimbo & the Kids

8/6/23

As a professional photographer, I can truly appreciate the wizardry employed by your clever shutterbug. I have never seen a better example of trompe l’oeil created via a panoramic fisheye lens. I was – and I mean this as a compliment – completely fooled! You made the place look twice as big as it really is. Congrats.

If I can get up the guts, I will employ your approach on my future real estate photo shoots.

Again, kudos!

— J. Shulman

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8/17/23

Dearest Payees –

Paying upwards of $40 per square foot helped us empathize with the moguls of the world, who must shell out their hard-earned cash to pay for high-end corporate digs.

Thank You for helping us better relate to those oft-maligned souls.

— Mr. & Mrs. Kramden

P.S. The mold and ant infestations were a nice touch.

Editor’s/Writer’s Note: I actually wrote many of the above entries in a guestbook for a summer “cottage.” I felt a bit mean doing it, but after a few minutes, I also felt justified: The place was overpriced, under-sized, and poorly equipped. Luckily, we had a great view of a brackish marsh and we were just a hundred yards from the sands of the Atlantic Ocean.

Kathryn Remillard-Norton is a teacher and artist who has lived on Cape Cod for 23 years.

Gabriel Shapiro is the editor of Supplement St. Louis.

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We love to read and interact with your comments. In addition to anything else you might want to write, feel free to relate your own vacation lodging frustrations.